Lawmakers in Wisconsin, Michigan, and elsewhere are pushing legislation to ban Virtual Private Networks (VPNs) as part of broader age-verification mandates for online content. Framed as a measure to protect children, these bills would require websites to block users connected via VPN. This approach is technically infeasible, as websites cannot reliably determine a VPN user’s true geographic location, forcing sites to either block all VPN traffic globally or cease operations in the state. The ban would disproportionately harm businesses, students, journalists, activists, and abuse survivors who rely on VPNs for essential security and privacy. These laws also employ unconstitutionally broad definitions of “harmful to minors” to censor a wide range of legally protected speech, ultimately creating a privacy nightmare that fails to achieve its stated goals while making the internet less safe for everyone.